Thursday, January 7, 2010

Where things are at

It's been a while (too long) since I posted anything here that wasn't fiction. I could write it off as just being busy over the holiday break, which wouldn't be entirely untrue but a lot of it is because I have just been lazy, very, very lazy.

Things with me and Mistress kinda got put on hold last month when I was working a lot of overtime and we didn't get much time to play or do anything on the Mistress/slave front. I've been running around without my lock on for ages now and I've even let the hair on my cock grow back, almost to its original bushy state (more laziness).

The thing now is though that I'm not sure if Mistress wants to try to pick things back up where we sorta left off last month. She hasn't mentioned anything to do with me being her slave, and I'm a little reluctant to bring it up because I don't want it to feel like I'm the only one who is driving this thing, but if I don't then nothing will happen and it will probably just fade away, and I don't want that either. I'm a confussed man right now.

Add to that me being back at work now (and adjusting to waking up at stupid O'Clock in the morning again) has got me tired and stressed out again - it's not that I hate my job at the moment, there are plenty of things I do like about it, but some of the people I'm forced to work with just drive me insane, more so than most other workplaces I've been in. So by the time I get home I'm already feeling pretty run down, which makes it harder for me to want to do all the slave stuff again (read: I'm being lazy again, you seeing a theme here yet?). I have been trying where I can to keep on top of the hosuework and to let Mistress relax while I do it, but it doesn't really feel the same for me when there is no BDSM-ish tones between us at all to what I'm doing - is that weird? does that even make sense? I know I tend to ramble and talk a bit of rubbish when I write here after I've just woken up.

So here is what I'm thinking then - I have to talk to Mistress about how I'm feeling, plain and simple, I know that. I need to stop being lazy and get mself back into some good routines, and lastly I think I need to get in that shower and tidy up things 'down stairs' and get back into wearing my lock again, even if Mistress hasn't asked me to wear it, to show her that I still want this. Then we'll see how things go.

4 comments:

  1. I find it interesting that you and your Mistress fall into this pattern of life getting in the way, things sliding at home and then no one having a clear direction to take things in.

    Is it possible that you and your Mistress are trying to take on too much at once in your relationship? Would it maybe help if the two of you incorporated a couple of simple routines into your day that you can maintain no matter what, just to reinforce the dynamic?

    Conversely, I know that I find it easier in some ways to have an even stricter routine with higher expectations during periods of stress or transition. The more I have to focus on, the better for me. It also helps prevent those "Oh, but this is such a bad time! I can't manage this!" sort of thoughts.

    Take care.

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  2. Could it be winter? I have felt lazy, lazy, lazy and totally lacking energy all week. I hate winter!

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  3. Biddable - thanks for the idea, I think your comment was what helped me come up with the idea of putting some rules in place at the start, see my next post for what I'm talking about. I do enhoy having the strict routine to fall back on in the busy times though for the same reason, more to focus on is good.

    Elle - thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment! I can't use winter as an excuse though because I'm in Australia, so it's a very, very hto summer here! lol

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