Monday, December 21, 2009

Being able to say 'no'

I know its been a week since my last post, longer since my last post that wasn't a fictional story, so I appologise for that - things have been rather hectic in the last week or so and this week doesn't look like it's going to be any different. I guess the holiday season just does that to you sometimes, so we'll just ride it out and hopefully things will go back to normal soon enough.

Anyway, the topic I wanted to write about today was whether or not a slave should be able to say 'no' to their Master/Mistress. I was having a chat with Mistress last night before we went to bed and she asked me for a bit of a rub down, to which I said "sure, no worries" (or something along those lines, I'm paraphrasing here). After that she said "actually, no don't worry about it, you don't seem like you want to do it", to which I replied "Where in there did I say anything that sounded like a no". She said it was in my tone of voice or the way I said it or something like that, and then said to me "Just because I own you doesn't mean you can't say no when you don't feel like doing something"

I had a bit of a think about that one, and it occured to me that while I appreciate that Mistress doesn't want to get me to do stuff where she thinks I'm going to be resentful or whatever about having to do it (which I genuinely wasn't in this case), the thought popped through my head that I really shouldn't be able to say no at all - well at least that's how I feel about it. I want to feel like I really am Mistress's slave, and while she is doing a fantastic job at getting in to that role (and I want to highlight that fact there as well) this was just one of those moments where I didn't feel like a slave at all.

I'm all for a slave having hard limits, but in my own I opinion (and I stress that point as well, this is just my opinion) if Mistress wanted to push my hard limits that that would be her decision to make - when I say I want to be her slave and do anything she wants, I mean it. I tell her what my hard limits are and I trust her to take these into acount during my service to her (and trust is the key word there, without trust this type of relationship is almost impossible).

Does anyone else have thoughts on the matter? Feel free to share them in the comments


  1. I think that's a hard one. Because there are a lot of times that I want to say no. And that I don't want to be a slave. And that I pout. And in those moments, I want nothing more than to be able to say no.

    Master lets me say no, but not always. Being 24/7 with someone means that our roles ebb and flow, and sometimes they are stricter than others. When they are more firmly in place, I cannot say no as often. When they are more relaxed, I can.

  2. I'm a submissive, so my view is a bit different than someone who's in a Mistress/slave dynamic. I can see your point where something as minimal as pushing through a little laziness to give your Mistress a rub down is the sort of thing that you think she shouldn't give you a choice on.

    I can understand her point in that even though she owns you, you are a human being and that requires some care on her part. It's something that needs to be talked about and balanced out. While I'm pleased to serve MasterDoc, sometimes I have to ask if he's being reasonable or just lazy? lol We've discussed things and he acknowledges that there's being a Dominant and having your sub serve you, and there's being a lazy lump who makes his sub do absolutely everything. While these are power exchange relationships we're in, ultimately both people do need to be happy and fulfilled in how the relationship runs.

  3. Yea I don't think that was the most well thought out blog post now that i read it again - i think i got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning and got that all out in not the way I was thinking it would come out - note to self, save as draft first then come and read it later before posting!

  4. Being able to say "no" and having that "no" listened to are two vastly different things.

    Of course, I don't really get the option of saying no, so YMMV and all that jazz.

  5. Sir has told me many times i can voice my opinion but it doesn't mean shit :) Sometimes he will take it under consideration. If i say "no" outright it is generally me having a naughty brat moment / wanting negative attention, otherwise i address Him with more respect and explain my view not really saying "no". Yeah- i'm bratty sometimes ;)

  6. Let this be your catalyst to Seventh-Heaven:

    'The more you shall honor Me,
    the more I shall bless you'
    -the Infant Jesus of Prague
    (<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

    Love him or leave him...
    ya best lissen to the Don;
    if you deny o'er-the-Hillary's evil,
    which most whorizontalites do,
    you cannot deny Hellfire
    which YOU send YOURSELF to.

    Yes, earthling, I was an NDE:
    the sights were beyond extreme.
    Choose Jesus.
    You'll be most happy you did.
    God bless your indelible soul.